Cool date idea: watch serial killer documentaries together
whats the sleepiest mineral?
Ores and minerals are completely different things
dammit jim, im a comedian not a geologist
"Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count."
it’s kinda fucked up that funerals cost so much like not only is your loved one dead but now you’re in debt
Painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk
You know, I’ve often wondered why it is we have children in the first place. And the conclusion I’ve come to is… At some point in our lives we realize things are screwed up beyond repair. So we decide to start again. Wipe the slate clean. Start fresh. And then we have children. Little carbon copies we can turn to and say, “You will do what I could not. You will succeed where I have failed.” Because we want someone to get it right this time. But not me… Personally speaking I can’t wait to watch life tear you apart.
Send me a cup of coffee.
Espresso: Describe your usual morning routine.
Decaf: Impersonate one of your friends.
Macchiato: Name two things you think go well together and why.
Latte: List three aspects of your personality that you love.
Flat White: Confess the most recent crime you committed.
Iced: Make the weirdest face you can.
Cappuccino: Describe your ideal wedding.
Drip: Post a photo of a stuffed animal you own.
Mocha: Name one of your guilty pleasures.
Doppio: List two of your dream travel locations and why.
Black: Recall the worst insult you've ever received.
Americano: Post a photo of your favorite outfit.
Kopi: Describe an incident when you tried something new.